Putting My Business In the Streets: So, I Fell In Love With this Guy…

So I fell in love with this guy…

OK, so I don’t really like putting my business out in the streets like this, but this time…well…I’m going to.

I met a guy y’all.  Well my parents and I have known him for years, but it feels like we just met for the first time. And although he’s been around me my whole life, I really didn’t know much about him.  It doesn’t make sense really.  I mean he was always at our house.  Sometimes, too much.  I never understood why my parents would invite him over all the time, but  they seemed to enjoy his company.  So much so, that he became like family.  Like for real, for real.  This guy practically LIVED with us! Lol

It came to a point that I figured that since he was always around, I might as well get to know him.  So I did.  I made up in my mind that I was going to get to know him.  As I began initiating conversations with him,  we started to develop an actual friendship.  It seemed like the more I talked to him, the more I WANTED to talk to him.  My parents always had good things to say about him, so I figured “why not?”

…But then it happened.  And if I be honest, I think THEY (as in my parents) set me up! Or maybe he set me up, I mean I’m not too sure anymore.  The more I got to know him, the more I felt like his coming around was more planned then just “by chance.”  Lol But by the time I figured that out, I was in too deep.  And I mean, I aint trying to make him seem thirsty…but he seemed like he was REALLY in to me.  And I aint even gone lie yall, my feelings for him beginning to grow so strongly.  But I was young, so I tried to play it chill…I would try to distance myself, forget about him and do my own thing, because I wasn’t ready to be that committed to someone.  It just seemed like too much at the time.  Plus I was young, I had plenty of time for love, commitment and all that other stuff that comes with it… Feel me?!  But even in my trying to forget him, the feelings wouldn’t go away. Shoot, he wouldn’t go away!

Everywhere I turned he was there, and it seem like everyone around me knew him & was trying to “hook us up.” Especially the adults, but I was trying to chill on that, didn’t want to get in too deep.  But I was so curious, and intrigued by him that I couldn’t stay away.  Plus, he was the ONLY guy my dad didn’t have a problem with me spending time with (now that’s another story lol).

Finally I gave in, his love was like something I’d never felt before.  And every time I thought our relationship had hit it’s highest peak, he would show me how much more he could love me. Like my best friend, he was always there when I needed him.  Late night caking, early morning caking…or what I’d rather refer to as “pieing” (but you only get that if you really know me hahaha)…but I mean whenever I gave him my attention, he took full advantage lol.

What I love the most about him is that he didn’t seem to want anything from me but my heart.  He knew that I had a history of guys coming into my life with the wrong motives…and how much it would hurt me when they either found that they couldn’t reach their goal, simply lost interest, or found someone better & would up and leave me.  But despite that and all my insecurities, when he would tell me that he wouldn’t leave, and that he would always be there for me, I believed him.  There were times NO ONE understood me but him.  Man he helped me through some rough times!  But even in that, if I be honest, sometimes I felt like he wasn’t listening, but later he would do something, even if it was the smallest thing, to show me that he was paying attention the whole time.  Man I love those moments! Lol There were even times he would help me in ways that my parents couldn’t…and to me that was strange. But it showed me that if I couldn’t depend on anyone else, I could depend on him.

Even when I was acting stupid…as we females tend to do in relationships (fellas you do too)…no matter what I did, he would never give up on me.  When I tried to leave, he wouldn’t let me go…he kept trying to get my attention to show me that he cared…that he wanted me…that he was the one…he was what I needed.

And even now, I’m STILL in love with this guy! It’s to the point now that whatever he says, I find myself trying to do it! Yall, I’m so in love! I just want to make him happy!  I don’t always understand him, but the more I spend time with him, the more I love him.  I know a lot of people my age think that’s it’s a little strange that I love him so much, but I don’t care! I just tell them, “Don’t hate! Get chu some!” Hahahaha..

So anyway yall…if you’re still reading this….and I hope that you are lol….this guy that I’ve been rambling about….the perfect chord to my melody….the brightest star in my bluest sky….the greatest tasting apples in my perfect pie….hahah ok ok ok…I’m done….He is the Lord Jesus Christ!  He is THE best love that has ever happened to me!  Throughout my short years lived so far, He has proven to be the greatest part of life.  It is worth getting to know Him & building a relationship.  And like my parents “set me up,” lol…I would like to SET YOU UP with the greatest guy ever! The only God ever…who has already proven His love through sacrifice (Jn 15:13) and is STILL willing to show you how much He loves you!

When I think about people’s resistance towards God…I cant help but think about the fact that we as humans tend to take “chances” with everything else…we give people who don’t even deserve our time, a chance at our heart…but the one that promise to be there always…we ignore.  He never promised life to be easy…but He did say that He would never leave us (Heb 13:5)….and that no matter what happens in your life…it will all work together for good if you give him your heart, love Him with everything, and follow his purpose (Rom 8:28)…

So what I’m saying is….All He wants is you to believe in Him and give Him your heart (Deut 6:5; Matt 22:37).  Once He has your heart, the rest (obedience, commitment, etc.) will fall in place…to get to know Him will be the best decision you ever make in life!

…So yea….I fell in love with a guy….and His name is Jesus Christ…and to KNOW Him is to ADORE Him!

I promise!

-Proverbs

4/8/11

ProVerbs Poetry Corner

…Sharing a piece of me that I don’t give too often….hope you enjoy it…Let me know what you think…I couldn’t figure out a title for this, so if you could give me some suggestions on a title that would be GREAT lol…Anyway…enjoy

-ProVerbs

……..

Sometimes I’m not chosen,

Sometimes they don’t see,

Blending in with the crowd,

Like sand grains among the beach,

But you pay attention,

And you always see,

What’s deeper than my surface,

As the roots beneath a tree,

And….like…those…roots…

I may not be as pretty,

Maybe not the prototype,

But you planted me strong…loved my flaws…

And found my beauty…as it is…

…precious..in your sight,

And Yet YOU call me special,

And you call me yours,

And you make all the difference underneath my present core,

You notice ME before my existence,

Still wanted ME once I came,

And even with my broken pieces,

Your pursuit still remained…

For every piece so insecure…

And every heartache so consumed

You showed me what I meant to you…

With broken flesh and open wounds…

It is you who shines through me,

It is you who sets me free,

From scarred pasts of shattered glass,

And lost confidence in between,

It is You who stole my weakness,

Poured out my cup of shame,

With fear of abandoned love repeated,

It is You who stays the same,

So you said you will never leave me,

That you’ll never go away,

And it’s funny how I believe you…

I mean COMPLETE trust in what you say…

So maybe they’ll never choose my heart,

And recognition may never be,

But in the midst of shadows…

It’s good to know…

That the creator of the universe…

…is really …diggin’…ME.

Heart’s Love,

ProVerbs

4/8/11

Authentic With God: Keep’n it 100

girl praying

And Jesus said, “Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven (Matt 18:3)

So I was baby sitting my little cousin, and I asked her to join me in prayer. Initially I was going to just go in a room and pray by myself but I felt compelled to ask her to join me with the intent to show her how important it was to take time out and talk to God. Thinking I was about to teach her, I somehow became the student and she the teacher.

I asked her if she wanted to pray, she gently laughed and declined so I began to pray. After I prayed I asked her again if she wanted to pray, hesitantly, she said yes. As she began to pray her words just started to flow, however I was more impressed by what she was saying. She was so real before God….no worries about what she was saying, or how she was saying it, she just prayed. She gave specific details about what she needed God’s help with and began to even point out her own flaws and ask God to help her in those areas.

I honestly almost started crying…I was like, so God this is what you meant when you said come to me as a little child. Children are real, they say how they feel and the only thing that stops them from speaking that truth is adults…they’re open & blunt, quick to forgive, and they initially want the best for people…and I began to recognize all that while she was praying…

Anyway, I could go on and on about this matter, but I would really just like to challenge us all to be naked before God when we communicate with Him. That is something personally I find myself struggling with, especially when I really don’t want to admit the ugliness that’s in me or expose the faults that I have to admit that I have. But God already knows what’s up….why would we hide from Him??  That’s like playing “Hide and Go Seek” and you choose to hide on the other side of a window…really? Now does that make sense to you?!?! lol not really…besides the word tells us, that if we confess our sins that God is faithful and willing to forgive us and even clean us up and change those things that are not like Him (1 John 1:9). And even if you read that 8th verse…it tells you, if you think you have no sins, you’re really fooling yourself.

But anyway…the point is…we might as well be real before God. He’s the only one who won’t condemn us, the one who knows us inside out….who can see past the facade we try to display to others…He knows our thoughts…the good, bad, and horrific…our TRUE motives…and our desires, and yet through all that He loves us and is willing to forgive if we just keep it real with Him!

It’s just amazing how I learned all of this through a child’s prayer…that like her, this is how God wants me to come before Him. It’s not always easy…but it’s what having a pure relationship with God is all about. So the next time you talk to God (which I hope it’s sometime soon)….just remember to be real, tell Him how you feel, and confess it all…in other words, Keep it 100!

I know it’s been a minute, but Thanks for reading!

Hearts Love,

ProVerbs

P.S. Do people still say that “Keep it 100?!?!” I probably should have inquired about that before I finished this blog lmbo…I have issues, I know & I’m going to confess them haha love yall!

I Wanted to Hide it

Since I told you that I would invite you into my world in my first entry, I guess I should go ahead and tell you. So I preached my first “sermon” last Sunday. I kind of felt weird about it…it’s something I didn’t feel like I could do…

I kind of knew that God called me to preach or at least teach but I never really wanted to and I definitely wasn’t going to be the one to pursue it. I’ve seen people who pretty much long to do that in ministry and I always thought they were crazy. I would ask them “So you really want to preach? Like for real? That’s your dream?” but for a lot of them it was different, they knew what God called them to do and they were excited about walking in it. Me on the other hand, not so much. My friends in college would joke with me and call me Bishop Davis and I hated it but I couldn’t deny the fact that I knew God called me to something like that (not the bishop part lol).

I made a statement a few months ago and in that statement I said “If God opens the door, I’ll walk through it.” I didn’t fully understand what I was saying. I definitely didn’t realize what it would mean to walk through those doors. I didn’t even think about the fact that God may open doors that I didn’t want to walk through. I must admit THIS, preaching, was that door. I NEVER wanted to do this in life….preaching was that one thing that I secretly hoped I never had to do. However, I can’t say that I didn’t see it coming; I just didn’t imagine it would come so soon.

A few years ago I kept having this dream/vision of me on stage in a far away country with a mic in my hand. I wasn’t sure if I was singing or speaking but that image is definitely stuck in my head to this day. So when my dad asked me…I mean TOLD me to preach, I wasn’t sure how I felt. He asked me if I felt like I was called from God and he didn’t want to force me but he knew that this was long overdue, I simply told him that I hadn’t really gotten a confirmation, but I realize I had, I was just ignoring it. One thing I knew, I wasn’t going to say “NO” to God. I’m not trying to be a modern day Jonah…that brings on more trials/tribulations than I’m willing to take….lol

Anyway, when it comes to preaching, I considered it to be one of the most honorable yet dangerous parts of ministry. I say this because people take it lightly, but they don’t know that when you preach, you are responsible for giving people the authentic truth, you are speaking over people’s souls and God does take that seriously, and hold you accountable for every word you put out. So it was important for me that I had a TRUE understanding of any scripture I put out (making sure it was used in the right context) and that I didn’t sugar code anything, but that I allowed the holy spirit to led me in giving the truth in love….And well God is DOPE! He did His thing that Sunday and people were flooding the alter (no joke!), 6 people got filled w/ the holy ghost with evidence of speaking in tongues (yep I believe in all that!)! It was all God and I was honored to be able to first of all, be myself, cause I wasn’t about to “hoop”…that’s just not me lol, and in being myself being allowed to receive a message that would bless so many people!

BUT OMG!!…they put me on youtube!! So when I say “I WANTED TO HIDE IT”…I meant these videos!! I just thought it to be weird to watch my goofy self preach and to know that others are watching me lol but since yall my fam I wanted to share it…plus I think it’s a message we all need so who am I to hide it! So here they are….

Had to Write Something…

Originally posted July 11, 2010 on http://proverbslovejourney.blogspot.com

I don’t really know what to write but I knew I had to write something. I know you may be like “huh?” and honestly…so am I…but I just had this feeling that I needed to write something.

Life to me has been a big blur as of lately. I’ve been coasting through the days trying not to think so much about anything just so I won’t have to deal with it. Have you ever done that? Just refused to think for awhile so you won’t have to deal with the situations around you? Well for a thinker this use to be difficult but as of lately it’s been a lot easier. Not too sure why but it kind of scares me…

In those moments…I’ve always been told that I shouldn’t concentrate on my situation and that I should look unto Jesus but I have to admit that I really haven’t took that advice at all. Why? Because truthfully when you look unto Jesus, He sometimes make you deal with those very situations you try to ignore. He allows the Holy Spirit to convict you to the point where you have to face it…and I for one CANNOT handle that. It’s like when the holy spirit convicts me…He just will not let up!!!…I mean I try to ignore it and sometimes rebuke it lmbo…hoping it’s just me and not God dealing with me…I usually refer to this as the time when the Holy Spirit was “kicking my butt”…lol…but a lot of times I have to give in and face it…and what I usually have to face is myself…my thoughts, my motives, my fears, my desires, my challenges, my issues….

And for me….facing myself is my biggest challenge…UGH!! Sometimes it’s just TOO MUCH…I know there are things about me that I need to change…there are times when I just don’t want to change but there are also moments when I want to…and in those “wanting” moments I feel like my zeal in wanting to change can be a bit frustrating. I want to be all that God wants me to be and I know that in order to be that there are things that I definitely need to change….however I want them to change NOW and when they don’t I get frustrated…I feel like “ok God…I’m working on it!!!”….and 3 weeks later you see SOME progress but it isn’t enough…I’m not changing as fast as I would like to and I go back in that mode where I just want to ignore it….act like it’s not a real issue…like it’s not there…

And you know what frustrates me the most?…it’s that sometimes the change doesn’t seem that extreme…I talk to God sometimes and I’m like “God I mean is it really that big of a deal?…you know there are people in life with traits worse than this and you’re convicting me about this? Seriously God?!?!?”….but I’m starting to realize that my walk with God is just that….MY WALK….I can’t compare my walk with YOURS or Jimmy’s or Erika’s walk…I can’t use them to measure my righteousness or how good I am…God has called us to different things, different places and to different people and what He deals with me about He may not deal with the next man about but that man may not be going where God wants to take me….I’m being molded and in this case “dealt with” to prepare me for my assignments…so I can’t ignore the issues…and I can’t compare my walk…

…I have to look unto Jesus and allow the Holy Spirit to work through me and work out the things that I need to change to first of all…please God…but also to be well equipped for the assignments God has in stored for me…so no more coasting through life ignoring the issues…I have to trust that God will give me the strength to face, change, or endure whatever it is I’m going through….remembering the whole time that it’s not about me, it’s all about God…

….ok so I wrote something lol…much love to you for reading….

Heart’s Love
ProVerbs

Go God

Originally posted July 4, 2010 on http://proverbslovejourney.blogspot.com

So today I had an amazing time at church…God power was moving all throughout that place from the time the service began till the time it ended. As I type this diary entry I’m starting to get excited all over again!! Whew! lol I’m excited to know a God that’s so FAITHFUL!!!

Ok now before I get too excited let me fill yall in on what I’m excited about…haha…At church, today’s message was called “Repositioned to Reap.” Now what is the first thing that pops in your head when you hear the word “REAP”….now let me see if I could guess what it was

…*thinkingggg thinkingggg*…

mmm….Was it MONEY?!?!?!?!?!?!….lol If it wasn’t CONGRATULATIONS, you’re a rare breed…especially in this society! Now although reaping money is wonderful (and I definitely need that too)…I personally had been asking God to reposition my heart. I remember a time in my life when I relentless trusted and loved God and I wanted that back…a pure heart towards the Lord with no hidden motives or agendas…just me loving Him for who He is alone…and trusting that He, MY CREATOR (ok so He’s yours too lol…my bad, how selfish of me), will lead me in His will, allow me in His presences, and take care of every ounce of need I have…but before He could do this…I had to follow the Matt 6:33 instructions…

33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Thinking back on the time that I did relentlessly love and trust God, I realize that that was at an immature point in life when I had to worry about nothing but loving Him…but now I’m older…about to graduate from college and take on this road called “Adulthood” or what I like to call the “Pay yo OWN bills” road….lol

I haven’t paid many bills while in college but being 10 hours away from home, not being able to ask Daddy for money every 5 secs, I became stingy with God. Normally a giver, it started with my money…at home I’d give my last but I knew I could always get more from my parents…here…I knew that wasn’t the case so I started to give less…and less…and less…now I know you’re thinking “I thought we weren’t talking about money”…we’re not…but for me…my lack of trust in God started there…my faith got a little shaky and it started to show in other areas of my life…so lately I have been asking God for that pure heart again…that I show Him I love Him with every part of me….money, time, talent, body…you get the point

….so back to church (I’m almost threw I promise lol)…I had been believing God for that as well as a J-O-B back home. At Tuesday bible study we talked about trusting God and seeing the manifestation of what we speak…so that’s what I did I spoke and trusted God for my pure heart and a JOB…but He tested my obedience…another FACTOR in reaping…YOU MUST OBEY…

…you can’t just speak something and not listen to God or walk according to His word…trust me…you’ll just be wasting your breath…and I’m starting to learn that when God promises you something…there’s always instructions before that promise come to past…Think about Abraham…God continually gave Him instructions…and a lot of times those instructions were EXTREMEEE…but Abraham trusted God and obeyed and well guess what…God not only blessed him but generations following him (side note: your choices don’t just affect you)…so like Abraham God tested me…even though I already believed what I had spoken He challenged me to go to the alter and ask for prayer…I TOTALLY did not want to do it…I was like “But God…I already believe you…I have faith that you’re going to do it!”…what I was really saying was “God pleaseeeeee don’t make me embarrass myself in front of this church! And Bishop is about to do the benediction too! Awww come on God!” lol…

…I stalled for a little bit…but then my legs started to shake and I felt this uncontrollable sensation in my stomach…like God was telling me that this was essential…so I did it…and they not only prayed for me but I received a prophecy that confirmed my decision to move back home after graduation. I was completely overwhelmed because I realized that if I hadn’t of moved I wouldn’t have gotten that word.

…that’s not even the end. A couple approached me after church who were actually from my hometown….told me that they may know someone who may be able to give me a job! My heart rejoiced in the Lord….Go God! Go God! Go! Go! Go! GO! lol

I just realized how faithful God will be if we just SEEK HIM and then OBEY His word and in this case His voice. I am so grateful to have a God who orders my steps even when I don’t understand….

Anyway…I just want to encourage you to follow Matt 6:33 instructions and completely trust that God knows what He’s doing with you…even when life hurts or things just don’t seem to make any sense…if you are letting Him lead you He’ll give you peace in the midst of the storm…or a word that will hold you over till your deliverance come…but you have to remember that He IS faithful..and I mean He made you…How can the inventor not know how to work His own invention…seriously?!?! lol…it’s little things like this that show me how real God is, how faithful He is, and how He is really willing to reward those who seek Him…but remember…don’t seek His hand…seek His face…

Heart’s Love

ProVerbs

P.S. So was the first thing you thought about really money? lol I’m so curious haha

Something Amazing I Read (For The Single Believers)

I was checking out the music of this amazing artist that I just ran across, Jimmy Needham, and I was so impressed by his music and his bio. It was more than just his talent, it was his heart for God and the messages in his music reflect everything he expressed on his MySpace Page. It was refreshing to see, because even when it comes to artists who put out Christ music, I still haven’t ran across too many that truly displayed a heart for God, his word, and spreading his message, I mean they say it…but it’s not really reflected if you know what I mean.

So anyway in checking out his music I ran across his website, and on this site he had a section from his wife, Kelly. In this section, they displayed a few blogs that Kelly had written. The first one I read was called “My Predicament” and I really felt the need to share it with the ladies, however I think it’s something men need to read and reflect on as well. I hope this bless you like it bless me. So please click the hyperlink below…

Kelly Needham- My Predicament